Bill Com has tried – and failed – to fix the big computer, the PC, in the Coms’ house – holding up a treat he and Suzie had planned, on a special day off. Just a little thing - lunch out together – but special to them. They’re out at last, with a call left on voicemail for Zapotek the computer expert to come and help them.
“Aahhh!” Bill Com took another big drink from his beer glass, gave Wiz a pat on the head, and beamed a big smile at his wife Suzie.
She smiled back. “I’ll be driving home then?” she said.
“I’ve only had a pint!”
“And a half” said Suzie. “And it is Crowbeak Triple 4 Jubilee Ale you’re drinking. The strongest beer at the bar!”
“True, true” said Bill. “You’re quite right – mustn’t drive after drinking that. Mum taxis booked again! That was a good meal though… I do love a home-made steak and kidney pie.”
He looked round the sunlit garden of The Old Gamekeeper, one of their favourite local pubs. Most of the lunchtime crowd had gone home, and the shadows cast by the big sunshades round the tables were lengthening across the grass.
“I really like it here” Bill went on. “There’s only one person missing that’d make it absolutely perfect… ”
“Keira Knightley?” asked Suzie cheekily.
Bill jumped, and coughed as a little of his Crowbeak beer went down the wrong way. “I only said I thought she was nice-looking once!” he spluttered. “No, Dot – it’d be nice if Dot were here too!”
Wizzie perked up at his best friend’s name and wagged his tail, waving it along the grass where he’d been dozing (and snoring!)
“Mmm” said Suzie “you’re right – it isn’t such fun without her. I know – why don’t we all come here on Saturday!”
“DEEP-diddley-deep-deep, DEEP-dee-deep-dee-DOO!”
“I must change that ring tone” said Bill, digging in his pocket for his mobile. “Hallo? Bill Com here!”
A sort of quacking, loud enough for Suzie to hear even though Bill had the phone close to his ear, came out of the mobile.
“Yes… yes… right… we’ll see you then!” said Bill. “Thanks! Bye!”
“Zapotek? Can he come?” asked Suzie.
“Yes!” grinned Bill. “Oi hoff dime doo helb mine faboreet fambily ride avay.” (See explanation at * below – the Coms have learned how to translate what Zapotek the computer fixer is saying… except when he tries some Shakespeare from his English course at college, that is!)
“He’ll be there in twenty minutes – let’s scoot!”
“We’ll have to stop for some of his special chocolate Hobnobs on the way” said Suzie, getting up and brushing some crumbs off her jeans. “Or the job will never be done!”
In fact when they got home again, they found Zapotek waiting at the gate – waving a packet of Hobnobs! “Thees dime I hoff broad mine own, dear Mrs Gom” he said, grinning. (See ** below again if you need to!)
Zapotek is a big chap with a tummy to match, long hair and a beard, and a huge laugh. He’s also one of the best computer fixers you could hope to find. It was bad luck for Windows users in Poland when he decided to come here to work – but good luck for the Coms!
He sat down with a bump on the computer chair, so that it let out a loud squeak, and flexed his knuckles with a cracking sound. Bill went into the kitchen to put the kettle on. (You can’t have Hobnobs without a cup of tea. Not really.)
Suzie looked at her watch. “Oh, no!” she said. “Got to go and pick up Dot! I’ll have to take Wilhelmina! Now, where did I put the car keys… ah, here they are! Byeee!”
Bang! went the front door.
“Now then Zapotek” said Bill, bringing two teas into the dining room where the Coms kept their big computer. “What’s up with this thing?”
“Eet ees seek!” *** said Zapotek, munching on his third Hobnob. “But don’t worry, I feex!”
He gave the mouse Bill had brought down from Dot’s laptop – Mr Mouse - a little twirl and grunted.
“I check mousey too!” he said. “OK, led’s go!”
* - “I have time to help my favourite family right away.”
** - “This time I have brought my own, dear Mrs Com.”
*** - “It is sick!”
